Helen and Al after a lunch with a friend at the Bollywood Theater restaurant.
After 45 years together, losing her husband Al was one of the hardest things Helen Lawrence has ever faced. Al, a beloved public defender and later an administrative law judge in Multnomah County, lived with post-polio syndrome for years before a sudden decline late in life. He was, as Helen recalls, “a really good man — caring, funny and full of character.”
When Al began to weaken significantly — one morning, even waking up paralyzed — his doctor soon referred him to hospice, though that initial referral was not where Al and Helen ultimately received care.
The staff at Terwilliger Plaza encouraged Helen to consider other hospice options as well, like the nonprofit Housecall Providers Hospice. They explained to her that choosing a hospice is a choice only families should make, and that she didn’t have to feel locked into the first option presented to her. Helen reached out and asked to switch services, and the Housecall Providers Hospice team came out to meet them soon after. Helen says she immediately felt supported. Hospice care lasted about six weeks, during which time Al chose to pursue Oregon’s Death with Dignity option as his condition continued to decline.
Although Al’s direct care involved only a few disciplines — a doctor, nurse and a certified nursing assistant (CNA) who provided baths and gentle physical care — it was the emotional support for Helen that she remembers most vividly. The nurse was always reachable when she felt anxious or unsure, especially during episodes of Al’s delirium, guiding her through medication questions and offering reassurance. The CNA visits, too, were compassionate and grounding, turning gentle care into moments of comfort.
After Al’s passing, Helen found much solace in the bereavement support she received, a continuation of the thoughtful care Al had during his final weeks. Not drawn to group session work, she was deeply grateful for the one-on-one guidance from Bereavement Program Coordinator Rondi Hunt. Rondi provided personalized handouts and book recommendations — including “It’s OK That You’re Not OK” — and helped Helen navigate her grief in ways she hadn’t expected. The resources and emotional support gave her tools for healing on her own terms, and she continues to use them.
Reflecting on her experience, Helen hopes others understand that hospice isn’t about giving up, it’s about comfort, dignity and support for both patients and families. She encourages people to consider hospice early and to remember they have a choice in providers. “It’s about comfort, not dying,” she said. “It’s a wonderful opportunity for both the person and the family to be cared for in every way.”
Through stories like Helen’s, Housecall Providers Hospice continues to remind our community that compassion, honoring choices, and dignity are not luxuries, they are essential to holistic end-of-life care.